Oh, new messages! What do my adoring fans have to say to me tod-
chopper is really fucking bad at taking baths
he just
sits
in his waterbowl
bird you are literally too stupid for words
CLEARLY I NEED TO HAVE A WORD WITH MY PUBLICIST ABOUT THESE PAPARAZZI OBTAINING COMPROMISING VIDEO AND PUBLISHING SUCH SLANDEROUS WORDS
Why thank you! It is partly in due to my fabulous Le Bel geneology, and partly a matter of course due to my strict exercise regimen. I work out every day to ensure my feathers retain their lustrous sheen.
(Source: citruscandy)
((And we’re done with Omegle!))
((Chopper just flew back to his cage so I think that means he’s done chatting. Sorry we missed everyone!))
((Guys no really Chopper is on Omegle))
((Come find us!!))
Is anyone using this strange “Omegle” contraption?
I just can’t wrap my feathers around it. I’m on it right now but it just seems to be countless shirtless human males lounging in the dark. Are there no other birds here?
A gentlebird always has many ways of wiling away his time! Wine tastings, visiting art galleries (and in my case, working on pieces to submit to such galleries), yachting….but there are some pastimes that I will always hold close to my heart. Such as!
Biting publicists
Pooping on carpets right after publicists vacuum them
Making a complete filthy mess of everything my publicist loves
It’s the little things.
Ahh, you must be asking about the lovely rose-hued light of my life! My vibrant muse! My heaven-sent confidant!
No, not that eyesore of an ape! Her! The one WITH the ape! That beautiful plumage, ahh, it warms my heart to see her again!
Sadly, it has been some time since we have been together. I’ve tried arranging dates to go see her with my publicist, but she keeps reporting back claiming her schedule is far too busy to accomodate me. Having doubts, I’ve tried looking for her myself, but to no avail…she’s a hard one to catch, that beauty.
